“The bottom line is, you'll never be free of problems until you are free from the part within that has so many problems” - Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul
I often use the technique of Externalizing the Problem in counseling sessions and in doing so, I see many clients begin to take hold of their own reality. Changing the way you look at problems and how you speak about them can free you from their power over you.
Sometimes we get so caught up and lost in our problems that we actually become them. We internalize the issues by telling ourselves that we have a problem/ we are the problem.
I am jealous
I am anxious
I am depressed
Instead of using this language, begin asking yourself, “What part of me is having a problem?” You can externalize the problem from your self by simply changing the semantics.
I am feeling jealousy
I am feeling anxious
I am feeling depressed
Once you start to separate yourself from the problem, you can look at the issue as temporary and non-attributional. Not being lost in your own problem can relieve you of so much energy spent worrying or feeling anxious.
Whether you are in counseling or not, you can begin practicing this technique. When you feel yourself becoming trapped by problems, fear, or anxiety- remind yourself that you're in control of your reactions, perceptions and that you have the power to be the author of your own reality.